Obituary for Gail A "Honey" McGoldrick (Ireson)
Gail A. “Honey” (Ireson) McGoldrick, 72, of Marshfield, passed away on Friday, December 18, 2020 at South Shore Hospital, Weymouth, surrounded by her loving family.
Born in Lowell on December 4, 1948, she was the daughter of the late Charles Ireson and Emma (Ackley) (Ireson) Biggar.
Gail was raised in Lowell, and was a graduate of Lowell High School, Class of 1967. She worked at Raytheon (Waltham), Newton Wellesley Hospital, and for UndercoverWear, Inc (Wilmington) for over ten years. Gail also worked at Concord Hillside Medical Associates in Concord, was an Executive Assistant at the Marriot Hotel in Bedford, and worked at South Shore Medical Center in Norwell.
Gail was a true original. Known for her soulful smile, warm hugs, larger-than-life personality and gift for conversation, she raised her family in Chelmsford for twenty years. You could always find her supporting the Chelmsford football program, hosting get-togethers at her home and socializing with her large network of friends.
In the early 2000’s, she bought a home at Green Harbor beach in Marshfield. Green Harbor always held a very special place in her heart, and it was her dream to live and retire to her little palace in the “Irish Riviera”. She loved, and was loved by, her Green Harbor community.
In her spare time, Gail enjoyed volunteering for the Green Harbor Beach Association, chatting on the beach with friends, dipping her toes in the water and enjoying a glass of wine on the beach or on her porch. True to her Irish roots, Gail celebrated St. Patrick’s Day all year, and could always be found wearing something Kelly green.
She was the ultimate grandmother, and absolutely loved spending time with her grandchildren. You could always find breads, cookies and candy at Honey’s house, and a trip to the Green Harbor General Store for penny candy was always an option.
Gail leaves her children, Kerry Lesniak (Jeff) of Lowell, and Michael McGoldrick (Erin) of Duxbury; her grandchildren, Sean, Matthew and Meghan Lesniak; Lily, Kate and Jake McGoldrick; Reese Porter; her siblings, Charles Ireson (Dracut) and Laura Nault (Lowell); many nieces and nephews, and her former husband, Thomas McGoldrick of Wareham.
Visiting hours will be held on Monday, December 28, 2020 from 4:00 – 7:00 pm in the Blake Chelmsford Funeral Home, 24 Worthen Street, Chelmsford. Due to gathering limitations, Funeral Services and Interment will be held privately. You are kindly invited to view the Mass of Christian Burial live on Tuesday, December 29, 2020 at 11:00 am at https://chelmsfordcatholic.org/watch-via-livestream
While the current environment precludes us from honoring mom in any traditional manner, it was important to Kerry and me to, on the day or her funeral, honor the life that mom lived…
Honor who she was, how she lived, what she stood for and what she meant to so many people.
I was trying to think of the best way to do this…I mean this is a person who lived so BIG. Who loved so hard and who connected….really connected…with so many people.
How do you even begin to capture that??
It occurred to me that I’ve been watching Gail for 45 years. You pick-up on a lot…you LEARN a lot from watching someone for that long. Some things she taught overtly yet most of what I’ve learned simply came directly from observing how she showed up in life.
And “learned” might not be the best term because a lot of these things are ideals. They are things that came to mom quite easily, yet are more of something to strive toward for those of us who aren’t as much of a natural as she was when it came to this stuff…
So I figured I’d share a few of these lessons……in hopes of somehow, in some really small way, remembering her in a way that is worthy of how she lived her life...
The first one is ridiculously simple yet easy to miss…..
“Smile”. There is nothing more powerful that can impact someone’s moment than a smile. Mom smiled with her entire essence, didn’t she? With her entire being. If any of us close our eyes right now and picture her, I guarantee that you see her with a massive smile on her face. And it wasn’t that she was ALWAYS happy because she wasn’t! Nobody is……..but she was positive. Incredibly positive….possibly the most positive person that I’ve ever been around.
People want to be around that…they are drawn to it. I can not TELL you how many times someone would come up to me after meeting mom and just say “Your mother……wow….”…and that would be it. And I knew exactly what they were talking about.
It all began with that infectious smile.
Next is “genuinely cheer for others success and well being”. Envy did not know mom…it just didn’t. She was everyone’s biggest fan. If she knew someONE that accomplished someTHING…ANYTHING…large or small, significant or otherwise…she cheered. Celebrated….and GENUINELY so!!
This is impossible to fake…you know how some people you just don’t WANT to share good news with? Mom was the opposite….she LOVED seeing people do good things. She was grateful for what SHE had, she wanted for nothing, and she celebrated the success of others with a spirit that just made you feel….warm….and seen…and supported.
Gail was your biggest fan.
Next one is "Stand up…and if you want something, fight for it”. As much as mom smiled and cheered for all…you still did not want to MESS…with her….did you. When Gail wanted something, she went after it. And if she felt lied to, let down, if you were sneaky…you just didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Gail’s disappointment.
A red letter day in the history of the Marshfield Department of Public Works was when mom bought Aunt Nancy’s house in Marshfield. As many of you know, the house is on a street that is subject to flooding from the high tides of Cut River…and that flooding has done more than it’s fair share of damage to houses on that street over the years, mom’s included.
The problem for the Marshfield DPW was that Gail knew that there was something the town could do about this flooding issue…there was a pipe or a valve..something…that could be dealt with. Not a FIX to the problem, necessarily, but something that would help it. It was just something that would cost the town time, money and resources…so it wasn’t that high on their list of priorities.
…but mom didn’t care what their priorities were. She wanted the problem fixed, right?
Thus began her Vision Quest to get the town to do her bidding….an old fashioned standoff between the extreme indifference of a small town DPW and the Iron Will of Hurricane Gail…
So she wrote. And called. And emailed. Had meetings. Wrote more. Called more. She absolutely….savagely…attacked these poor men….year after year, meeting after meeting, delay after delay…until the problem was addressed.
And eventually………..it was.
And I like to think that…..even though the good folk who work in the department might have had a choice word of two when it came to Gail’s….persistence….you HAVE to think that they respected the hell out of her tenacity.
You just didn’t mess with Gail…
Back in 1990, Gail and Tom went away to Boston for a work function. As we often did during these weekends (since we were in high school), Kerry and I stayed behind, and more often than not we’d have some friends over at the house.
Now, on this particular weekend, Kerry’s friends decided to mix it up a little bit. Instead of the typical party that would inevitably take place at the house, they decided to spice things up and went ahead and stole the family Cadillac….
…ok “stole” might be an aggressive word. They planned on borrowing it…
Problem was, none of them had their driver’s license…AND, for my parent’s part, since they were going to be gone for the whole weekend, Tom decided to leave the gas tank on empty since he wasn’t using the car. Her friends missed this detail. The car ran out of gas during the joy ride, broke down on the side of the main road, and Chelmsford’s Finest was involved soon enough.
Long story short, Tom and Gail were called BACK home from Boston by the Chelmsford police to deal with the situation, thus ruining what was sure to be a fun weekend….
When they got back, mom had to head down to the police station and bring Kerry with her. Wisely, when they got in the car, Kerry got in the back seat, thus avoiding the possibility of the direct contact of Gail’s backhand that might appear.
Gail was still livid……and as she went to start the car, she looked piercingly in the rearview mirror at Kerry sitting poutily in the back seat……and with all of the venom she could muster, said “I. Think. You Stink.”
…now, as much of a banger as that was, and as ridiculous and funny a statement as that was….again, WISELY, Kerry didn’t so much as crack a smile……because she knew that if she did, an absolute world of hurt would have followed….
You didn’t mess with Gail.
Next one…”Be reliable”. When the chips were down, how many people had Gail on their short list of calls to make...she was just “there”...no matter what. You needed help…maybe some perspective…a warm ear to listen to, for sure…or just support.
Mom was always there, no questions asked…
Back in 2018, we had a few blizzards hit around here, and one massive storm in particular. The whole area lost power…we did in Duxbury, mom did in Marshfield…it was a really nasty storm. So we decided to have mom over to the house because it looked like it was going to be a long night, and Erin and I wanted her there with us and the kids.
So we’re at the house, fire is going, we’re playing card games with honey, having a few drinks…and it’s rolling up on dinner time. Erin and I are already getting a little stir crazy and we needed to get the kids some food anyway so we ordered pizza from the place a mile down the street. We go to pick it up, leaving the kids in the capable hands of honey. 5 minutes later we are on our way back to the house….now, we live a decently wooded area, and windy storms always wreak havoc on our part of town. We essentially live on a long dead-end street, meaning there’s only one road in our out of that part of town…it’s called Marshall street. So we turn onto Marshall street and about 50 yards in, we see it…this massive tree knocked down from the storm, blocking access to the entire Standish Shore and preventing us from getting back to the house.
This is a bad spot. This storm is wickedly dangerous…trees and limbs flying everywhere…so simply walking the less than a mile back to the house, over a windy causeway no less, would have been a really bad and dangerous idea. But we also had to get back somehow as there was no place else to go…
So we call Honey. We get the idea that if we can just get down to the bridge, and if she can pick us up, we’ll be good. So I asked her, can she jump in her Chevy Cruze matchbox car, drive out in that blizzard, and pick us up?
“Yup. Absolutely. I’m on my way”
No surprise.
ZERO hesitation. ZERO fear. Go time…”Honey to the rescue”, as she would often say….
So Erin and I jump out of our car and start heading down the street…around the massive tree blocking the road, running through yards, literally dodging falling branches, stupid cheese pizza in hand…brilliant.
Now, we’re out there for what seems to be forever…the seconds were surely passing by quickly due to the extreme circumstance, yet it still seemed like it was taking her too long to get there….I might have yelled a few expletives to Erin on where the heck mom was…until finally we see the Cruz headlights crossing the bridge. We run up to the car, she jumps out…”are yizzzzz alright????” Erin jumps in the back seat, Honey in shotgun and I start driving back….telling honey that she took awhile there…and was she alright?
“I’m fine!” she said…”had a bit of a problem”…and as she said that, as we were clearing the other side of the bridge heading back to the house, there was ANOTHER tree laying across the road…but this one…this one had a small opening between the top of the tree and the side of the road…just big enough to squeeze a Chevy Cruz through. “I had to move that tree” honey said.
On her way to get us, honey encountered this tree lying across the road. No she didn’t turn around. No she didn’t panic. No she didn’t call the fire department.
No.
The 70 year old Irish Hurricane got out of the car…IN a hurricane, and was able to somehow move this massive tree enough to squeeze here miniature car through, and come pick us up.
Honey to the rescue indeed.
If you were in trouble. If you needed help. You could ALWAYS…count on mom.
Next one…”The magic of children”. God did she love kids...and they loved her back. She had so many special relationships with so many children...anyone’s kids really….she just connected with their innocence and wonder, because she was so energetic herself.
Now…WITHOUT question or exception…the joys of her life? Their names are Sean, Matthew, Megan, Lily, Reese, Kate and Jake….
Mom absolutely lived for her grandchildren. She had a unique and special relationship with each one of them….she spoiled them rotten. She had her “thing” with each of them, ranging from her Green Harbor time with Sean to her pumpkin bread with Kate, and special trips to the Green Harbor “Genny” with all of them.
In only the way mom could, she had determined YEARS ago…quite literally when Kerry and I were still in high school, that some day she would be a “Honey”.
Not a Nana…not a Grammy…not a Sweetheart…..
A Honey. And we, and whatever grandchildren we were to have in the future were just going to have to play ball with that….
So Honey she became.
And NOT just to our kids…no no. To the Burgess kids. To the Morowic kids….quite literally, to any children who were in her life with relative consistency…she was Honey to them.
And she connected with all of them. She loved them. Had inside jokes with them. TALKED to them. And they all genuinely loved her for it, in the way that only kids can.
Kids can spot a phony a mile away, and Honey was anything but……she was the real deal.
If the love of children is any measure of a life well-lived…..Honey was a legend.
Next one…”The power of relationships”. The numbers of friends mom had…. friend groups, mentors, mentees, people she CONNECTED with...you can’t count them all. Her friend group from Lowell growing up that she always remained in touch with. To her group when she lived in Waltham when Kerry and I were born, to the Chelmsford ladies, the Notorious Femme-No-Tell’s…to her Marshfield crew, and friends that she invariably made at every place she ever worked.
Gail….CONNECTED. People were always drawn to her…whether from her welcoming smile, her positive energy, her absolute GIFT of gab, her “always down for an adventure” spirit, her love of wine or a fun drink, or just her love of life and her keen interest in people.
Mom was absolutely in on the joke that the currency that we all really operate on….is people. Relationships. And for that? Honey was a millionaire. For that she lived 10 lifetimes over.
Next one is “Be thoughtful”...another superpower of hers that also can not be faked, and one that I’ve lived in awe of my whole life. She was the most THOUGHTFUL person I’ve ever known. She would always...ALWAYS....make the extra phone call. Follow up. Ask how you were. Supported you.
Always.
And the greeting cards??? Oh the cards….unfortunately, profits in the Hallmark Corporation have dropped 25% over the past month since Honey was laid up…again, her process was awe-inspiring. The sheer volume…the execution…the INDUSTRIOUSNESS of her greeting card giving abilities….the likes of which we’ve never seen and will never see again. Just a Tour-de-Force of thoughtfulness, kindness, well wishes and congratulations…
You always got a card from mom. Always.
Next one…”Work your butt off”. Mom knew how to work…Kerry and I never wanted for much growing up, because both mom and dad just worked so hard, all the time, and just did whatever they had to do. Any semblance of work ethic that Kerry and I might have comes directly from watching them…
Now…as many of us know, the 80’s were glorious for many reasons…and Gail’s primary occupation during this time??
She sold lingerie.
Of course she did!!
She sold a boatload of it, and she sold it well.
She worked for a company called Undercoverwear….she would host parties, either at the house or she’d go to other peoples houses….and have a lingerie party.
…so yes, Kerry and I grew up with women walking around our house in lingerie sold to them by my mother….totally normal….
BUT…as we know, Gail had the gift. The GIFT…of gab. She’d talk a dog off a meat wagon, sell it some lingerie and send it the most thoughtful thank you card that dog would ever receive.
She could SELL. She was a natural…….and sell she did.
Mom sold so much lingerie in the 80’s, that she and dad used to travel all around the world because of it. The company would have their “President’s Club”, where all of the top salespeople would get rewarded with a trip at the end of every year…
SO…chuckle, perhaps at the 80’s lingerie thing…but that sent her to London, Paris, Hawaii, Hong Kong, the Virgin Islands, Switzerland….Rio!! I mean...what a time.
BUT….she worked for it, I can promise you that. She earned every one of those trips….all the while setting a phenomenal example of what it took to get what you wanted.
Mom knew how to work.
Next one is “Have fun” – Ok where do we start with this one….mom was the life of the party, wasn’t she??
Growing up, she always loved being around our friends…she loved the youthful energy.
She used to take Kerry and her friend out “surfing” when they were 13…basically driving around Chelmsford (in that Cadillac!), sun roof open, kids standing up and out of it, beach boys blaring, windshield wipers on and spraying…she loved it even more than they did.
And man did she love my crew…her “bubbas”, she called them. Long story on how the name started, but her signature move with the boys was she’d sneak up on them, pinch their…well, nipple….as hard as she could (we all know what that is called), twist, and yell “bubba!!”.
Nowadays that might make the local papers but THEN….it was the ultimate sign of love. Everyone’s stomachs always hurt from laughing….
She was in her element when the party was happening…she could talk. She could drink. She could toast. She could celebrate…her St. Patrick’s Day celebrations are well documented…but I think it’s safe to say that none of us have a problem conjuring an image of Gail on that day….drinking a Nutty Irishman…slapping shamrock stickers on peoples faces…listening to her favorite music and really just running the whole show…
The life of the party.
I mean….how many people do you know who broke both of their wrists at the same time doing an Irish Jig at their 60th birthday party?
One…you know one person who did that.
Mom had a lot of fun.
Next one is “Be generous”….mom was generous to a fault. She got this from my grandmother…her mother, Emma. Emma was the kind of person who was ALWAYS giving. She picked up every check, gave gifts year round, gave of her TIME, gave her love and attention.
..,and mom learned from the best. No, Mom and dad couldn’t AFFORD those ridiculously priced basketball shoes…but I got them anyway.
They couldn’t afford that leather bomber jacket for Kerry…but you know she got it.
Christmas was always amazing, no matter what kind of year mom and dad were having.
“Want to go to college? You get in, we’ll figure out the rest”.
I mean PART of the reason we used to call her The Hurricane, she NEVER walked through the door empty handed…how many times would she walk through a door, just a massive storm of crinkly, colorful gift bags, jingly jewelry, the smell of perfume and pumpkin bread filling the air, and a massive hug and a greeting to follow…
Like Emma, mom was generous with her time, attention, resources and love…always giving, whether she could afford to or not…
Next is “Be kind”. Mom saw the best in people…it was one of her many gifts. In addition to her generosity, she was incredibly trusting….she was a truth teller and a truth seeker. She was SO trusting that she would sometimes be taken advantage of…this is the real world, and as we all know there are just some people out there….as much as mom would give, they would just take and take and take….
More than a few times over the years, when Kerry or I would demand that she write someone off, or cut someone out, or tell someone where to go…..mom would refuse.
God, I can hear her now…”Be nice”, she would say.
“Be nice”.
As tough as she was, mom would always, always, always give second, third, fourth chances…it was just so in her nature to be trusting and kind.
Next one…”Pull up your big girl…or big boy…pants and keep going”
There is real tragedy, there are the minor things that invariably come up that seem like big things at the time, and there is the entire spectrum in between.
And mom knew how to handle all of the above. She knew that all “problems”, big or small, are the texture that colors life…”this too shall pass”, she would say.
She experienced loss. She helped people who were critically hurt or sick. She bailed others out of a tight spot. She covered for you.
She knew what “perspective” was. She knew how to be a rock in that way….an anchor.
Mom would always…..ALWAYS….keep going.
Lastly….”Be present”. Mom knew that there were no do overs. The reason I have zero doubt about this is the way she carried herself at all times… She always told you what she thought. She was always present, not looking over the shoulder of the current moment or wallowing in any kind of history… But in the here and now.
Every hello accompanied by excitement and a kiss...every goodbye accompanied by a hug and an “I love you”. No exceptions.
Mom knew how precious the present really was and she lived in it.
I think one of the more terrifying things to be present at the end of life is regret...you know, knowing that you left too much in the tank, or said “no” to too many things, or cared about the wrong things or just misspent your time....but I can tell you, mom HAD no regrets. She never walked on eggshells, trying to tiptoe safely to the end of her life.
She said what she needed to say, meant it, drank-in the whole experience and had the stories and scars to prove it.
What can you possibly want for the lives of the people that you love? Aside of course from longevity…
I would guess that what you would want is for them to be happy.
For them to have full lives.
Harvard did a happiness study that spanned over 80 years….and what they found out was that the happiest people had the best relationships. Period.
What better news could you possibly want, if you cared about somebody like mom?
It was hard for Kerry and I to see mom the way that she was in that hospital bed. It wasn’t her…it was the complete, polar opposite of the vibrant 72 years of life that she had. It made me think of a quote…
(I’m a child of the 80’s…my third parent was television…so like it or not my lens of the world is often seen through movie quotes)
And I thought of one from the classic movie, Shawshank Redemption:
“Some birds are not meant to be caged…their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more empty with them gone”
”Empty” is an appropriate word.
Mom left a void…a big void…behind. And yet, selfishly, it is more than comforting to realize that she lived more than one life. Looking at the connection…the influence…the sheer impact that she had on the people around her….and the NUMBER of those people around her. She lived 10 lifetimes.
And she’ll live on in how we remember her…every St. Patrick’s Day, she will be remembered. Every walk on the beach at Green Harbor. Every whiff of pumpkin bread. Every soulful Irish song…
Mom…you were an impossibly beautiful soul that was taken from us far too soon. It was not expected, and it was not fair.
And you deserved better.
Yet you lived more than many. You loved more than most. And though we may be just incredibly sad about that void that you left…many of us can also hear your instruction:
Smile.
Cheer for others.
Stand up.
Be reliable.
Embrace the magic of children.
Foster your relationships.
Be thoughtful.
Work your butt off.
Have fun.
Be generous.
Be kind.
Be present.
….and pull up your big boy/big girl pants, and KEEP. GOING.
Mom…Gail….Honey…
You made a real difference in us all. You left this place better than you found it.
No toast seems worthy of you right now…so for now, we’ll leave it at “Sláinte”.
Cheers, mom…
We love you…to the moon and back. You made us all feel special and loved…and for that you can be sure we will never forget you.
Rest easy…
Love,
Michael & Kerry
AND FINALLY…from her grandson, Sean:
To honey
I don’t even know where to begin, I didn’t want this day to come so soon...You were my best friend, we created so many memories together. From Christmas mornings to sitting down with each other on the beach having Marshfield famous pizza. You did anything just to see a smile on my face, things I wouldn’t think any other grandmother that would do those things. I never even got to say goodbye to you, all over a stupid virus. Making honey toast in the morning and pumpkin bread in 90° weather. Playing Neil Dimond in the car full blast to us singing sweet Caroline and cracking Rosie. Getting a new Christmas ornament every year for all of your grandchildren. You spoiled me and all of your grandchildren so much, even things I told you to not do. I’ve practically spent every single summer with you, half my life with you, taking me to the “honey store” for gift shopping for Christmas, not allowing anyone to see each other’s baskets. Me and you had a very special bond out of everyone, and I think that was obvious how close we were. I can even remember in pre school when I brought u to show off how such an amazing grandmother you were. You had a heart of gold and was the most Irish person I’ve ever seen. Putting Shamrocks on peoples faces even if they weren’t celebrating, and doing the Irish jig with funny glasses and necklaces. I miss you so much. You loved my friends and how I could bring them down anytime. You were truly an amazing grandmother and I’m not gonna say that enough. You would always tell your friends how in love I wash in with Marshfield, and how that I would get the house because I was the one that cared about it the most. I remember when you use to sing you are my sunshine to me, and that made me the happiest little kid. You always knew how to put a smile on my face no matter the situation. Through my 16 years of living on this planet, I met your friends and created memories that would last me a live time. Us getting Hadads one night and then the Venus the next, then maybe even ice cream after. I won’t forgot the smile you gave me every morning when I woke up and you said” good morninggggg” then you making me honey toast and then pumpkin bread for breakfast, and maybe occasionally an ice cream sandwich or two. But that was always pretty much between us. It wasn’t all the time but you came down and watched me catch Stripers, and you looking so amazed. I was so proud on myself for making you smile because all I wanted when you watched me was for me to always to catch at least one. You trusted me more than anyone when it came down to fishing alone down there, but let’s just keep the rest those things a secret. You drove me everyday to the bait and tackle shop and always offered to pay, and even if I was going to pay for myself you always denied it and told me to take your card. I remember when me and you left the house to go shopping, we always came back with a new fish, and my mom and dad would get annoyed. I’ll never forget those things. You wanted me to make honor roll so you gave me a necklace so that I can look at it whenever I need to push myself to make you proud. Now I’m never going to take it off, it is now a part of me and it always will be. I’m going to make your proud. I’m gonna be the best Marine Biologist that you had ever seen, and I won’t stop until I’m there.
But I know if you were still here today, you would tell everyone to not cry about this loss, but to celebrate the amazing life you had lived. And to punch anyone that didn’t wear green on St Patrick’s day. Your in the sky right now in your own world. In the Green Harbor Ocean where you always brought your little boogy board with you to take a dip. And then on top of that, a ridiculously huge wine bottle that you always loved to have. You are in the best place imaginable.
Everyone misses you and your sweet hugs and kisses. Your smile, your laugh, your amazing heart and spirit. The world will truly never be the same without you. You will always be a part of me, in my Heart, my head, my soul. And I bet a lot of other people would agree with me.
I love you and miss you to the moon and back infinite times.
I can’t say enough that I love you, your in a better place now. And as you always said to me every night before I went to bed, Sweet dreams
⁃ Your Grandson Sean
Born in Lowell on December 4, 1948, she was the daughter of the late Charles Ireson and Emma (Ackley) (Ireson) Biggar.
Gail was raised in Lowell, and was a graduate of Lowell High School, Class of 1967. She worked at Raytheon (Waltham), Newton Wellesley Hospital, and for UndercoverWear, Inc (Wilmington) for over ten years. Gail also worked at Concord Hillside Medical Associates in Concord, was an Executive Assistant at the Marriot Hotel in Bedford, and worked at South Shore Medical Center in Norwell.
Gail was a true original. Known for her soulful smile, warm hugs, larger-than-life personality and gift for conversation, she raised her family in Chelmsford for twenty years. You could always find her supporting the Chelmsford football program, hosting get-togethers at her home and socializing with her large network of friends.
In the early 2000’s, she bought a home at Green Harbor beach in Marshfield. Green Harbor always held a very special place in her heart, and it was her dream to live and retire to her little palace in the “Irish Riviera”. She loved, and was loved by, her Green Harbor community.
In her spare time, Gail enjoyed volunteering for the Green Harbor Beach Association, chatting on the beach with friends, dipping her toes in the water and enjoying a glass of wine on the beach or on her porch. True to her Irish roots, Gail celebrated St. Patrick’s Day all year, and could always be found wearing something Kelly green.
She was the ultimate grandmother, and absolutely loved spending time with her grandchildren. You could always find breads, cookies and candy at Honey’s house, and a trip to the Green Harbor General Store for penny candy was always an option.
Gail leaves her children, Kerry Lesniak (Jeff) of Lowell, and Michael McGoldrick (Erin) of Duxbury; her grandchildren, Sean, Matthew and Meghan Lesniak; Lily, Kate and Jake McGoldrick; Reese Porter; her siblings, Charles Ireson (Dracut) and Laura Nault (Lowell); many nieces and nephews, and her former husband, Thomas McGoldrick of Wareham.
Visiting hours will be held on Monday, December 28, 2020 from 4:00 – 7:00 pm in the Blake Chelmsford Funeral Home, 24 Worthen Street, Chelmsford. Due to gathering limitations, Funeral Services and Interment will be held privately. You are kindly invited to view the Mass of Christian Burial live on Tuesday, December 29, 2020 at 11:00 am at https://chelmsfordcatholic.org/watch-via-livestream
While the current environment precludes us from honoring mom in any traditional manner, it was important to Kerry and me to, on the day or her funeral, honor the life that mom lived…
Honor who she was, how she lived, what she stood for and what she meant to so many people.
I was trying to think of the best way to do this…I mean this is a person who lived so BIG. Who loved so hard and who connected….really connected…with so many people.
How do you even begin to capture that??
It occurred to me that I’ve been watching Gail for 45 years. You pick-up on a lot…you LEARN a lot from watching someone for that long. Some things she taught overtly yet most of what I’ve learned simply came directly from observing how she showed up in life.
And “learned” might not be the best term because a lot of these things are ideals. They are things that came to mom quite easily, yet are more of something to strive toward for those of us who aren’t as much of a natural as she was when it came to this stuff…
So I figured I’d share a few of these lessons……in hopes of somehow, in some really small way, remembering her in a way that is worthy of how she lived her life...
The first one is ridiculously simple yet easy to miss…..
“Smile”. There is nothing more powerful that can impact someone’s moment than a smile. Mom smiled with her entire essence, didn’t she? With her entire being. If any of us close our eyes right now and picture her, I guarantee that you see her with a massive smile on her face. And it wasn’t that she was ALWAYS happy because she wasn’t! Nobody is……..but she was positive. Incredibly positive….possibly the most positive person that I’ve ever been around.
People want to be around that…they are drawn to it. I can not TELL you how many times someone would come up to me after meeting mom and just say “Your mother……wow….”…and that would be it. And I knew exactly what they were talking about.
It all began with that infectious smile.
Next is “genuinely cheer for others success and well being”. Envy did not know mom…it just didn’t. She was everyone’s biggest fan. If she knew someONE that accomplished someTHING…ANYTHING…large or small, significant or otherwise…she cheered. Celebrated….and GENUINELY so!!
This is impossible to fake…you know how some people you just don’t WANT to share good news with? Mom was the opposite….she LOVED seeing people do good things. She was grateful for what SHE had, she wanted for nothing, and she celebrated the success of others with a spirit that just made you feel….warm….and seen…and supported.
Gail was your biggest fan.
Next one is "Stand up…and if you want something, fight for it”. As much as mom smiled and cheered for all…you still did not want to MESS…with her….did you. When Gail wanted something, she went after it. And if she felt lied to, let down, if you were sneaky…you just didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Gail’s disappointment.
A red letter day in the history of the Marshfield Department of Public Works was when mom bought Aunt Nancy’s house in Marshfield. As many of you know, the house is on a street that is subject to flooding from the high tides of Cut River…and that flooding has done more than it’s fair share of damage to houses on that street over the years, mom’s included.
The problem for the Marshfield DPW was that Gail knew that there was something the town could do about this flooding issue…there was a pipe or a valve..something…that could be dealt with. Not a FIX to the problem, necessarily, but something that would help it. It was just something that would cost the town time, money and resources…so it wasn’t that high on their list of priorities.
…but mom didn’t care what their priorities were. She wanted the problem fixed, right?
Thus began her Vision Quest to get the town to do her bidding….an old fashioned standoff between the extreme indifference of a small town DPW and the Iron Will of Hurricane Gail…
So she wrote. And called. And emailed. Had meetings. Wrote more. Called more. She absolutely….savagely…attacked these poor men….year after year, meeting after meeting, delay after delay…until the problem was addressed.
And eventually………..it was.
And I like to think that…..even though the good folk who work in the department might have had a choice word of two when it came to Gail’s….persistence….you HAVE to think that they respected the hell out of her tenacity.
You just didn’t mess with Gail…
Back in 1990, Gail and Tom went away to Boston for a work function. As we often did during these weekends (since we were in high school), Kerry and I stayed behind, and more often than not we’d have some friends over at the house.
Now, on this particular weekend, Kerry’s friends decided to mix it up a little bit. Instead of the typical party that would inevitably take place at the house, they decided to spice things up and went ahead and stole the family Cadillac….
…ok “stole” might be an aggressive word. They planned on borrowing it…
Problem was, none of them had their driver’s license…AND, for my parent’s part, since they were going to be gone for the whole weekend, Tom decided to leave the gas tank on empty since he wasn’t using the car. Her friends missed this detail. The car ran out of gas during the joy ride, broke down on the side of the main road, and Chelmsford’s Finest was involved soon enough.
Long story short, Tom and Gail were called BACK home from Boston by the Chelmsford police to deal with the situation, thus ruining what was sure to be a fun weekend….
When they got back, mom had to head down to the police station and bring Kerry with her. Wisely, when they got in the car, Kerry got in the back seat, thus avoiding the possibility of the direct contact of Gail’s backhand that might appear.
Gail was still livid……and as she went to start the car, she looked piercingly in the rearview mirror at Kerry sitting poutily in the back seat……and with all of the venom she could muster, said “I. Think. You Stink.”
…now, as much of a banger as that was, and as ridiculous and funny a statement as that was….again, WISELY, Kerry didn’t so much as crack a smile……because she knew that if she did, an absolute world of hurt would have followed….
You didn’t mess with Gail.
Next one…”Be reliable”. When the chips were down, how many people had Gail on their short list of calls to make...she was just “there”...no matter what. You needed help…maybe some perspective…a warm ear to listen to, for sure…or just support.
Mom was always there, no questions asked…
Back in 2018, we had a few blizzards hit around here, and one massive storm in particular. The whole area lost power…we did in Duxbury, mom did in Marshfield…it was a really nasty storm. So we decided to have mom over to the house because it looked like it was going to be a long night, and Erin and I wanted her there with us and the kids.
So we’re at the house, fire is going, we’re playing card games with honey, having a few drinks…and it’s rolling up on dinner time. Erin and I are already getting a little stir crazy and we needed to get the kids some food anyway so we ordered pizza from the place a mile down the street. We go to pick it up, leaving the kids in the capable hands of honey. 5 minutes later we are on our way back to the house….now, we live a decently wooded area, and windy storms always wreak havoc on our part of town. We essentially live on a long dead-end street, meaning there’s only one road in our out of that part of town…it’s called Marshall street. So we turn onto Marshall street and about 50 yards in, we see it…this massive tree knocked down from the storm, blocking access to the entire Standish Shore and preventing us from getting back to the house.
This is a bad spot. This storm is wickedly dangerous…trees and limbs flying everywhere…so simply walking the less than a mile back to the house, over a windy causeway no less, would have been a really bad and dangerous idea. But we also had to get back somehow as there was no place else to go…
So we call Honey. We get the idea that if we can just get down to the bridge, and if she can pick us up, we’ll be good. So I asked her, can she jump in her Chevy Cruze matchbox car, drive out in that blizzard, and pick us up?
“Yup. Absolutely. I’m on my way”
No surprise.
ZERO hesitation. ZERO fear. Go time…”Honey to the rescue”, as she would often say….
So Erin and I jump out of our car and start heading down the street…around the massive tree blocking the road, running through yards, literally dodging falling branches, stupid cheese pizza in hand…brilliant.
Now, we’re out there for what seems to be forever…the seconds were surely passing by quickly due to the extreme circumstance, yet it still seemed like it was taking her too long to get there….I might have yelled a few expletives to Erin on where the heck mom was…until finally we see the Cruz headlights crossing the bridge. We run up to the car, she jumps out…”are yizzzzz alright????” Erin jumps in the back seat, Honey in shotgun and I start driving back….telling honey that she took awhile there…and was she alright?
“I’m fine!” she said…”had a bit of a problem”…and as she said that, as we were clearing the other side of the bridge heading back to the house, there was ANOTHER tree laying across the road…but this one…this one had a small opening between the top of the tree and the side of the road…just big enough to squeeze a Chevy Cruz through. “I had to move that tree” honey said.
On her way to get us, honey encountered this tree lying across the road. No she didn’t turn around. No she didn’t panic. No she didn’t call the fire department.
No.
The 70 year old Irish Hurricane got out of the car…IN a hurricane, and was able to somehow move this massive tree enough to squeeze here miniature car through, and come pick us up.
Honey to the rescue indeed.
If you were in trouble. If you needed help. You could ALWAYS…count on mom.
Next one…”The magic of children”. God did she love kids...and they loved her back. She had so many special relationships with so many children...anyone’s kids really….she just connected with their innocence and wonder, because she was so energetic herself.
Now…WITHOUT question or exception…the joys of her life? Their names are Sean, Matthew, Megan, Lily, Reese, Kate and Jake….
Mom absolutely lived for her grandchildren. She had a unique and special relationship with each one of them….she spoiled them rotten. She had her “thing” with each of them, ranging from her Green Harbor time with Sean to her pumpkin bread with Kate, and special trips to the Green Harbor “Genny” with all of them.
In only the way mom could, she had determined YEARS ago…quite literally when Kerry and I were still in high school, that some day she would be a “Honey”.
Not a Nana…not a Grammy…not a Sweetheart…..
A Honey. And we, and whatever grandchildren we were to have in the future were just going to have to play ball with that….
So Honey she became.
And NOT just to our kids…no no. To the Burgess kids. To the Morowic kids….quite literally, to any children who were in her life with relative consistency…she was Honey to them.
And she connected with all of them. She loved them. Had inside jokes with them. TALKED to them. And they all genuinely loved her for it, in the way that only kids can.
Kids can spot a phony a mile away, and Honey was anything but……she was the real deal.
If the love of children is any measure of a life well-lived…..Honey was a legend.
Next one…”The power of relationships”. The numbers of friends mom had…. friend groups, mentors, mentees, people she CONNECTED with...you can’t count them all. Her friend group from Lowell growing up that she always remained in touch with. To her group when she lived in Waltham when Kerry and I were born, to the Chelmsford ladies, the Notorious Femme-No-Tell’s…to her Marshfield crew, and friends that she invariably made at every place she ever worked.
Gail….CONNECTED. People were always drawn to her…whether from her welcoming smile, her positive energy, her absolute GIFT of gab, her “always down for an adventure” spirit, her love of wine or a fun drink, or just her love of life and her keen interest in people.
Mom was absolutely in on the joke that the currency that we all really operate on….is people. Relationships. And for that? Honey was a millionaire. For that she lived 10 lifetimes over.
Next one is “Be thoughtful”...another superpower of hers that also can not be faked, and one that I’ve lived in awe of my whole life. She was the most THOUGHTFUL person I’ve ever known. She would always...ALWAYS....make the extra phone call. Follow up. Ask how you were. Supported you.
Always.
And the greeting cards??? Oh the cards….unfortunately, profits in the Hallmark Corporation have dropped 25% over the past month since Honey was laid up…again, her process was awe-inspiring. The sheer volume…the execution…the INDUSTRIOUSNESS of her greeting card giving abilities….the likes of which we’ve never seen and will never see again. Just a Tour-de-Force of thoughtfulness, kindness, well wishes and congratulations…
You always got a card from mom. Always.
Next one…”Work your butt off”. Mom knew how to work…Kerry and I never wanted for much growing up, because both mom and dad just worked so hard, all the time, and just did whatever they had to do. Any semblance of work ethic that Kerry and I might have comes directly from watching them…
Now…as many of us know, the 80’s were glorious for many reasons…and Gail’s primary occupation during this time??
She sold lingerie.
Of course she did!!
She sold a boatload of it, and she sold it well.
She worked for a company called Undercoverwear….she would host parties, either at the house or she’d go to other peoples houses….and have a lingerie party.
…so yes, Kerry and I grew up with women walking around our house in lingerie sold to them by my mother….totally normal….
BUT…as we know, Gail had the gift. The GIFT…of gab. She’d talk a dog off a meat wagon, sell it some lingerie and send it the most thoughtful thank you card that dog would ever receive.
She could SELL. She was a natural…….and sell she did.
Mom sold so much lingerie in the 80’s, that she and dad used to travel all around the world because of it. The company would have their “President’s Club”, where all of the top salespeople would get rewarded with a trip at the end of every year…
SO…chuckle, perhaps at the 80’s lingerie thing…but that sent her to London, Paris, Hawaii, Hong Kong, the Virgin Islands, Switzerland….Rio!! I mean...what a time.
BUT….she worked for it, I can promise you that. She earned every one of those trips….all the while setting a phenomenal example of what it took to get what you wanted.
Mom knew how to work.
Next one is “Have fun” – Ok where do we start with this one….mom was the life of the party, wasn’t she??
Growing up, she always loved being around our friends…she loved the youthful energy.
She used to take Kerry and her friend out “surfing” when they were 13…basically driving around Chelmsford (in that Cadillac!), sun roof open, kids standing up and out of it, beach boys blaring, windshield wipers on and spraying…she loved it even more than they did.
And man did she love my crew…her “bubbas”, she called them. Long story on how the name started, but her signature move with the boys was she’d sneak up on them, pinch their…well, nipple….as hard as she could (we all know what that is called), twist, and yell “bubba!!”.
Nowadays that might make the local papers but THEN….it was the ultimate sign of love. Everyone’s stomachs always hurt from laughing….
She was in her element when the party was happening…she could talk. She could drink. She could toast. She could celebrate…her St. Patrick’s Day celebrations are well documented…but I think it’s safe to say that none of us have a problem conjuring an image of Gail on that day….drinking a Nutty Irishman…slapping shamrock stickers on peoples faces…listening to her favorite music and really just running the whole show…
The life of the party.
I mean….how many people do you know who broke both of their wrists at the same time doing an Irish Jig at their 60th birthday party?
One…you know one person who did that.
Mom had a lot of fun.
Next one is “Be generous”….mom was generous to a fault. She got this from my grandmother…her mother, Emma. Emma was the kind of person who was ALWAYS giving. She picked up every check, gave gifts year round, gave of her TIME, gave her love and attention.
..,and mom learned from the best. No, Mom and dad couldn’t AFFORD those ridiculously priced basketball shoes…but I got them anyway.
They couldn’t afford that leather bomber jacket for Kerry…but you know she got it.
Christmas was always amazing, no matter what kind of year mom and dad were having.
“Want to go to college? You get in, we’ll figure out the rest”.
I mean PART of the reason we used to call her The Hurricane, she NEVER walked through the door empty handed…how many times would she walk through a door, just a massive storm of crinkly, colorful gift bags, jingly jewelry, the smell of perfume and pumpkin bread filling the air, and a massive hug and a greeting to follow…
Like Emma, mom was generous with her time, attention, resources and love…always giving, whether she could afford to or not…
Next is “Be kind”. Mom saw the best in people…it was one of her many gifts. In addition to her generosity, she was incredibly trusting….she was a truth teller and a truth seeker. She was SO trusting that she would sometimes be taken advantage of…this is the real world, and as we all know there are just some people out there….as much as mom would give, they would just take and take and take….
More than a few times over the years, when Kerry or I would demand that she write someone off, or cut someone out, or tell someone where to go…..mom would refuse.
God, I can hear her now…”Be nice”, she would say.
“Be nice”.
As tough as she was, mom would always, always, always give second, third, fourth chances…it was just so in her nature to be trusting and kind.
Next one…”Pull up your big girl…or big boy…pants and keep going”
There is real tragedy, there are the minor things that invariably come up that seem like big things at the time, and there is the entire spectrum in between.
And mom knew how to handle all of the above. She knew that all “problems”, big or small, are the texture that colors life…”this too shall pass”, she would say.
She experienced loss. She helped people who were critically hurt or sick. She bailed others out of a tight spot. She covered for you.
She knew what “perspective” was. She knew how to be a rock in that way….an anchor.
Mom would always…..ALWAYS….keep going.
Lastly….”Be present”. Mom knew that there were no do overs. The reason I have zero doubt about this is the way she carried herself at all times… She always told you what she thought. She was always present, not looking over the shoulder of the current moment or wallowing in any kind of history… But in the here and now.
Every hello accompanied by excitement and a kiss...every goodbye accompanied by a hug and an “I love you”. No exceptions.
Mom knew how precious the present really was and she lived in it.
I think one of the more terrifying things to be present at the end of life is regret...you know, knowing that you left too much in the tank, or said “no” to too many things, or cared about the wrong things or just misspent your time....but I can tell you, mom HAD no regrets. She never walked on eggshells, trying to tiptoe safely to the end of her life.
She said what she needed to say, meant it, drank-in the whole experience and had the stories and scars to prove it.
What can you possibly want for the lives of the people that you love? Aside of course from longevity…
I would guess that what you would want is for them to be happy.
For them to have full lives.
Harvard did a happiness study that spanned over 80 years….and what they found out was that the happiest people had the best relationships. Period.
What better news could you possibly want, if you cared about somebody like mom?
It was hard for Kerry and I to see mom the way that she was in that hospital bed. It wasn’t her…it was the complete, polar opposite of the vibrant 72 years of life that she had. It made me think of a quote…
(I’m a child of the 80’s…my third parent was television…so like it or not my lens of the world is often seen through movie quotes)
And I thought of one from the classic movie, Shawshank Redemption:
“Some birds are not meant to be caged…their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more empty with them gone”
”Empty” is an appropriate word.
Mom left a void…a big void…behind. And yet, selfishly, it is more than comforting to realize that she lived more than one life. Looking at the connection…the influence…the sheer impact that she had on the people around her….and the NUMBER of those people around her. She lived 10 lifetimes.
And she’ll live on in how we remember her…every St. Patrick’s Day, she will be remembered. Every walk on the beach at Green Harbor. Every whiff of pumpkin bread. Every soulful Irish song…
Mom…you were an impossibly beautiful soul that was taken from us far too soon. It was not expected, and it was not fair.
And you deserved better.
Yet you lived more than many. You loved more than most. And though we may be just incredibly sad about that void that you left…many of us can also hear your instruction:
Smile.
Cheer for others.
Stand up.
Be reliable.
Embrace the magic of children.
Foster your relationships.
Be thoughtful.
Work your butt off.
Have fun.
Be generous.
Be kind.
Be present.
….and pull up your big boy/big girl pants, and KEEP. GOING.
Mom…Gail….Honey…
You made a real difference in us all. You left this place better than you found it.
No toast seems worthy of you right now…so for now, we’ll leave it at “Sláinte”.
Cheers, mom…
We love you…to the moon and back. You made us all feel special and loved…and for that you can be sure we will never forget you.
Rest easy…
Love,
Michael & Kerry
AND FINALLY…from her grandson, Sean:
To honey
I don’t even know where to begin, I didn’t want this day to come so soon...You were my best friend, we created so many memories together. From Christmas mornings to sitting down with each other on the beach having Marshfield famous pizza. You did anything just to see a smile on my face, things I wouldn’t think any other grandmother that would do those things. I never even got to say goodbye to you, all over a stupid virus. Making honey toast in the morning and pumpkin bread in 90° weather. Playing Neil Dimond in the car full blast to us singing sweet Caroline and cracking Rosie. Getting a new Christmas ornament every year for all of your grandchildren. You spoiled me and all of your grandchildren so much, even things I told you to not do. I’ve practically spent every single summer with you, half my life with you, taking me to the “honey store” for gift shopping for Christmas, not allowing anyone to see each other’s baskets. Me and you had a very special bond out of everyone, and I think that was obvious how close we were. I can even remember in pre school when I brought u to show off how such an amazing grandmother you were. You had a heart of gold and was the most Irish person I’ve ever seen. Putting Shamrocks on peoples faces even if they weren’t celebrating, and doing the Irish jig with funny glasses and necklaces. I miss you so much. You loved my friends and how I could bring them down anytime. You were truly an amazing grandmother and I’m not gonna say that enough. You would always tell your friends how in love I wash in with Marshfield, and how that I would get the house because I was the one that cared about it the most. I remember when you use to sing you are my sunshine to me, and that made me the happiest little kid. You always knew how to put a smile on my face no matter the situation. Through my 16 years of living on this planet, I met your friends and created memories that would last me a live time. Us getting Hadads one night and then the Venus the next, then maybe even ice cream after. I won’t forgot the smile you gave me every morning when I woke up and you said” good morninggggg” then you making me honey toast and then pumpkin bread for breakfast, and maybe occasionally an ice cream sandwich or two. But that was always pretty much between us. It wasn’t all the time but you came down and watched me catch Stripers, and you looking so amazed. I was so proud on myself for making you smile because all I wanted when you watched me was for me to always to catch at least one. You trusted me more than anyone when it came down to fishing alone down there, but let’s just keep the rest those things a secret. You drove me everyday to the bait and tackle shop and always offered to pay, and even if I was going to pay for myself you always denied it and told me to take your card. I remember when me and you left the house to go shopping, we always came back with a new fish, and my mom and dad would get annoyed. I’ll never forget those things. You wanted me to make honor roll so you gave me a necklace so that I can look at it whenever I need to push myself to make you proud. Now I’m never going to take it off, it is now a part of me and it always will be. I’m going to make your proud. I’m gonna be the best Marine Biologist that you had ever seen, and I won’t stop until I’m there.
But I know if you were still here today, you would tell everyone to not cry about this loss, but to celebrate the amazing life you had lived. And to punch anyone that didn’t wear green on St Patrick’s day. Your in the sky right now in your own world. In the Green Harbor Ocean where you always brought your little boogy board with you to take a dip. And then on top of that, a ridiculously huge wine bottle that you always loved to have. You are in the best place imaginable.
Everyone misses you and your sweet hugs and kisses. Your smile, your laugh, your amazing heart and spirit. The world will truly never be the same without you. You will always be a part of me, in my Heart, my head, my soul. And I bet a lot of other people would agree with me.
I love you and miss you to the moon and back infinite times.
I can’t say enough that I love you, your in a better place now. And as you always said to me every night before I went to bed, Sweet dreams
⁃ Your Grandson Sean